Valentine’s Day Dating Advise By Sherri Murphy CEO and Elite Matchmaker

It’s that time again. Valentine’s Day is here! Sadly though, for many singles out there this is not the most exciting time of year. Being single for Valentine’s Day can likely be very stressful for some people. Attending events and parties alone near Valentine's Day makes you really focus on what's missing in your life. Well don’t worry, you’re not alone. You’re other half is waiting somewhere patiently just like you’re doing. It's important as the CEO of a professional matchmaking agency, for me to say that when you’re looking for the love of your life, you have to reach out of your normal activities, stay positive, have an open mind, and be a little bit more spontaneous than you usually are.

This Valentine’s Day do yourself a big favour and take these tips in consideration to help you get on the right path to finding love:

1. Step out of your comfort zone and get out there. Go to the parties you're invited to so you can meet new people. Try to go to an event once a week, even if it’s something you wouldn’t have normally attended. Try not to be scared to go by yourself, just make sure you smile and have fun. Whether it be through work, clubs, church, family, friends, or even mutual friends, this is a great time to take advantage of some fun events going on around you.
2. Forget about dating “your type”. I've been in the professional matchmaking business for over 27 years, and this is of the biggest problems I see with my clients. If your type worked for you, you'd be married. If you try something different you might surprise yourself. Dating outside your perceived “type” can allow you to meet people you didn’t realize you would be interested in. Go for a person that you typically wouldn’t bother taking a second look at. And ladies, give nice guys a chance for once. Don’t let kindness be a turn off for you. If you're used to being attracted to men you have to chase, it will be very different to be with a man that’s 100% interested in you. Go out at least three times before you decide that you’re not going to give someone a chance.
3. You may have gone through many of the singles in your area. Attempt to veer away from your routine dating spots to find someone. Don’t worry if they live a little farther away than you’re used to, find a fun place in the middle of your houses to meet. Give more effort than you have given in the past. Our matchmakers at Elite Connections hear complaints about people not wanting to meet someone that lives an hour from them. If you fall in love, you will eventually live together. Ladies don’t be prima donnas and meet half way. I’ve had some amazing marriages because people took this advice.
4. Forget about your rules. Golden dating rules like “Don’t return their call quickly” or “Wait three days after the date to call” should be lost. Putting a time limit about when you should or shouldn’t sleep with someone is a good idea. As long as you make sure you’ve had the chance to truly get to know the person before anything serious happens, trust your own judgment on the time frame. As for waiting three days to call someone back, don’t, it’s rude! Call them the next day, if you’re interested. Let them know how you’re feeling and be honest. Even if that means you don’t feel inclined to have a second date.
5. Don’t be stuck in the past, update your look! “New ‘do, new you” is a saying for a reason. Take it as advice and follow it! Get a marvellous new dating wardrobe and haircut. Our matchmakers at Elite Connections review each client and help them on their path to finding love. We advise people to hire a stylist, stylist or photographer to come to their house and give them tips. If you don’t know where to start, just go to a department store. Pick a sales person that you think is dressed well to help you. You shouldn’t show up on a first date without looking your best. If you feel good about how you look you will be more confident, and that’s the key to a better date!
6. Stop letting age be a deciding factor for you. People seem to pick a cut off age they feel is too old or young for them, and refuse to meet many compatible singles because of it. I’m not talking about 15 and 20 year age differences either, that is quite a large age gap and it’s understandable. However, if you are a 41 year old woman rejecting a man who is 50 because of his age alone, that’s an issue you’re creating for yourself. Every person I meet tells me about how they are the only one their age that “doesn't look their age”, is fit, healthy, and active. I really couldn’t tell you how many times I hear that from people. If you restrict who you will date because they’re a year or two older than your cut off age, you’re limiting many great candidates that you could be happy with. Don’t focus on age for once and genuinely try to find someone that you can have enjoyable conversations with and see where it goes. You might surprise yourself.
7. Be creative when planning a second date. Do something different instead of the typical dinner and a movie. Think out of the box and put a few extra minutes into brainstorming a fun and exciting second date. You could go to the theatre, live concert or a sports event, ice skate during sunset, or even grab a hot chocolate and go on a walk at night. The options are endless if you take the time to think about them, so have fun with it.
8. Become a volunteer or start helping a charity. Not only will you feel good about helping others, but it’s an opportunity to meet new people who care about the same things you do. Having that in common already makes instant conversation starters. If you don’t know where to start to give back, volunteer for our next fundraiser. The money that’s made goes towards helping unfortunate children. What sounds bad about giving back and meeting someone too? https://www.eliteconnections.com/events/
9. Relax! Dating shouldn’t be a stressful. Try letting lose and purely having fun with it. Don't overthink and go into all your first dates imagining what your life with that person for the next 5 years. Regardless about whether it works out between the two of you, simply be friendly and get to know each other. Even if no interest gets sparked during the date, you could meet someone great through them. Keep the conversation positive and don’t talk about your problems or past relationships. If a sensitive subject gets brought up then be polite and answer them with something simple, then move on to another topic. Don’t ignore them, you’ll seem rude. Talking about anything upsetting will make the two of you leave with wrong impressions, so try your very best to keep the mood light. If you steer away from this advice you’ll regret it.
10. Be the calibre of person you would want to meet yourself. Keep yourself from getting too loose and don’t drink an excessive amount. Be polite and respectful, use nice manners and reciprocate nice gestures to each other. To the ladies, if a man takes the time to plan out a nice date for the two of you, you need to say thank you at the end the night. In return, think of something equally as nice that you could do for him next time. Offer to plan the second date if he asks you out again. Other ideas from our matchmakers at Elite Connections would be to bring some theatre tickets, passes to one of his favourite sporting events, or offer to make him a home cooked meal after a 3rd or 4th date. Trust us, he will definitely appreciate it. Men, if you meet someone you’re interested in, be sure to give her your attention and make her a top priority. This includes forgetting the three day rule. If you’re interesting in her, then call her the next day and ask her out on another date. Don’t let her think you’re not interested, it could make her question whether she’ll want to pursue you.
11. Last but not least, you need to make dating a PRIORITY! The older everyone gets, the more we get settled into our ways. Everyone is busy. Maybe you work a lot, or you travel and choose to spend your spare time with friends and family. This is all okay, but sadly when it comes to dating this doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for someone new. It’s really important to set specific time aside for someone special. If you don’t, they will think you’re not interested and they will inevitably move on to the next thing.

My husband Bill and I went skiing together an afternoon for our second date. He wanted to extend our date through into the evening and asked me the same day. Being the matchmaker I am (for myself included), I already had a different date planned with somebody else that same evening. Regardless, I immediately rushed to the ski lodge, cancelled my other date (that I wasn’t too interested in to begin with), and went to dinner with Bill instead. Now we’ve been married for 25 years. When I tell this dating story to the men I come across, I try to help them understand how important it is to ask women out ahead of time. I cancelled my second date, but that’s rare and doesn’t mean everyone will cancel their plans for you if you wait until the last minute. Most men usually reply with, "I want someone that would cancel a date to be with me". Everyone wants a relationship with somebody that makes you a priority and shows that they would like to spend time with you over anyone else. If you want to find the right person that you can share the rest of your life with, you have to make sure you put aside time to spend with them. I’ve met a lot of people in my elite matchmaking career that tell me they would like to get married. Yet they ruin that for themselves when they don’t make the time for their date to build a proper relationship. When meeting your friends or coworkers for cocktails becomes more important to you than getting to know the person you're interested in that could possibly be your significant other, then you will continue to be single for a very long time.

I have been a professional matchmaker for many years, and I continue to watch people make the same mistakes I made when I was single. I was single after being divorced for 7 years, and as a working mother of two I was constantly working and taking care of my family. I decided to join with an elite matchmaker and my husband Bill happened to be my first date. He's very handsome, genuine, caring and a respectful man. He was incredibly different from any of the other man I was used to being with before, so naturally I spoke the famous words "he's not my type." After we were first introduced to each other, an incredibly smart friend of mine, told me to go out with him again anyway, because he sounded exactly like what I needed. She went on to say that my usual type was awful and I should move out of my comfort zone. I’m advising you to venture out of your typical type too. I did it myself and it was a great decision.

Our clients at Elite Connections are devoted to finding someone to be with, and they contact us looking to find a serious relationship. Our matchmakers at Elite Connections hear complaints that people are exhausted over trying to use other dating alternatives, that have ended in failure. That’s why they come to us for help. The majority of our clientele consists of hard-working and successful professionals that want their privacy. Because of this, most of them prefer to stay away from online dating because they don’t want their photos being posted online for everyone to see. Not everyone we work with listens to our dating advice, but the ones that do are successful at finding love.

The Elite Connections team reviews every client they work with.

Contact Sherri Murphy and her professional matchmaking staff at Elite Connections for your chance at finding love this Valentines Day.

800-923-4200 www.eliteConnections.com info@eliteconnections.com

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